BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Today's Posts
BIMMERPOST Universal Forums Off-Topic Discussions Board    Rich as hell and free

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      10-06-2008, 04:53 AM   #1
Comet
Troll Harder
Comet's Avatar
Lebanon
395
Rep
596
Posts

Drives: 997 GT3, 997 4 GTS, X6M
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Montreal, Beirut

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Rich as hell and free

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving
you for good. I've been a good woman to you for
seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss
called to tell me that you had quit your job today
and that was the last straw. Last week, you came
home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair
and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even
wore a brand new negligee. You came
home and ate in two minutes yes, and went
straight to sleep after watching the game. You
don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch
me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't
love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your
BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia
together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife


--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving
your letter. It's true that you and I have been
married for seven years, although a good woman is
a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so
much to try to drown out your constant nagging.
Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you
cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that
came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My
mother raised me to not say anything if you can't
say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must
have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER,
because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new
negligee because the price tag was still on it. I
prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother
had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we
could work it out. So when I discovered that I had
hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and
bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got
home you were gone. Everything happens for a
reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you
always wanted.

My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you
won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but John, my
brother was born Jane. I hope that's not a
problem.

Signed
Rich As Hell and Free!
__________________
Appreciate 0
      10-06-2008, 01:19 PM   #2
islandguy19
First Lieutenant
islandguy19's Avatar
United_States
60
Rep
377
Posts

Drives: 08 E92 AW M3
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2008 E92 M3  [0.00]
I hope this is true because if it is, MAD PROPS TO YOU! Go treat yourself to another fine BMW Driving Machine!
__________________
Appreciate 0
      10-06-2008, 02:28 PM   #3
UltimateBMW
Brigadier General
UltimateBMW's Avatar
401
Rep
3,288
Posts

Drives: MP4
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: South

iTrader: (0)

wtfpwnt.
__________________
Appreciate 0
      10-06-2008, 02:36 PM   #4
darkphantom
Banned
595
Rep
5,946
Posts

Drives: E93 335i
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The place for Bimmers

iTrader: (4)

lmao, saw one this before....
Appreciate 0
      10-06-2008, 10:17 PM   #5
Joekerr
Banned
7929
Rep
1,923
Posts

Drives: 2017 Audi S6
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toronto, ON

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by islandguy19 View Post
I hope this is true because if it is, MAD PROPS TO YOU! Go treat yourself to another fine BMW Driving Machine!
Do you honestly believe the above to be true? I mean...seriously...
Appreciate 0
      10-06-2008, 11:35 PM   #6
mvagusta
Lieutenant
16
Rep
473
Posts

Drives: 2008 m3 coup
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: michigan

iTrader: (1)

That is off the hook..hahahha..
Appreciate 0
      10-09-2008, 02:37 PM   #7
Crimson92
Smiling Politely
Crimson92's Avatar
United_States
1381
Rep
29,118
Posts

Drives: Like a boss
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Whales Vagina

iTrader: (3)

lol
__________________
Quote:
Some people are like slinkies...not really good for much but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs"
Appreciate 0
      10-09-2008, 03:40 PM   #8
fizzle
is it the 5oclock free crack giveaway?
fizzle's Avatar
United_States
234
Rep
17,453
Posts

Drives: a motorized vee-hickle
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Jersey

iTrader: (14)

Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Appreciate 0
      10-09-2008, 03:52 PM   #9
Year's_End
Lieutenant General
Year's_End's Avatar
United_States
1138
Rep
12,444
Posts

Drives: 2020 Shelby GT350
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: FL

iTrader: (0)

brilliant
__________________
Past: '08 E92 335i|ZPP|ZSP|6AT
Past: '15 Mustang GT|401A|PP|6MT
Current: '20 Shelby GT350|6MT
Appreciate 0
      10-09-2008, 03:56 PM   #10
EZ_TUR90
Ez tur90
EZ_TUR90's Avatar
Armenia
189
Rep
3,191
Posts

Drives: M6
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles

iTrader: (11)

lol
__________________
Appreciate 0
      10-11-2008, 06:14 PM   #11
Graham M
I love my Z. Pure sex on wheels.
Graham M's Avatar
Canada
49
Rep
397
Posts

Drives: Is sold, goodbye everyone!
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Calgary

iTrader: (0)

Wow, if that was true.... Absolute pwnage to the nines.
Appreciate 0
      10-12-2008, 01:47 AM   #12
E. Honda
Private First Class
E. Honda's Avatar
United_States
4
Rep
178
Posts

Drives: 2007 Nissan 350Z
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: West LA/UCLA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by islandguy19 View Post
I hope this is true because if it is, MAD PROPS TO YOU! Go treat yourself to another fine BMW Driving Machine!
It's a story...calm down.
Appreciate 0
      10-12-2008, 01:56 AM   #13
uabimmer
Україна
uabimmer's Avatar
Ukraine
24
Rep
868
Posts

Drives: JB e90 330i
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Sac. California

iTrader: (2)

Garage List
2006 330i  [0.00]
2003 330i  [0.00]
haha... that was pretty good, seems like a solid guy!!!

didnt say anything cause he didnt have anything nice to say very solid
__________________
IN THE PASSING LANE - e90 330 JetBlack / 6000k D1S / 40% all around / LED Lic.Plt. / LED reverse lights / 7500k Fogs

Appreciate 0
      10-12-2008, 02:59 PM   #14
Year's_End
Lieutenant General
Year's_End's Avatar
United_States
1138
Rep
12,444
Posts

Drives: 2020 Shelby GT350
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: FL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by islandguy19 View Post
I hope this is true because if it is, MAD PROPS TO YOU! Go treat yourself to another fine BMW Driving Machine!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graham M View Post
Wow, if that was true.... Absolute pwnage to the nines.
good game people.
__________________
Past: '08 E92 335i|ZPP|ZSP|6AT
Past: '15 Mustang GT|401A|PP|6MT
Current: '20 Shelby GT350|6MT
Appreciate 0
      10-12-2008, 04:33 PM   #15
whyrms
Private
19
Rep
73
Posts

Drives: foot mobile.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: san jose

iTrader: (0)

so which car to do you think he's going to buy?
Appreciate 0
      10-12-2008, 05:14 PM   #16
rsmamg
Flying First Class
United_States
30
Rep
582
Posts

Drives: M
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: CA

iTrader: (0)

solid
Appreciate 0
      10-12-2008, 07:24 PM   #17
TiAg335i
Trance Life
TiAg335i's Avatar
United_States
315
Rep
4,706
Posts

Drives: 2007 E92 335i
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Long Island, NY

iTrader: (4)

So his brother is going to take the leftovers....nasty.
Appreciate 0
      10-13-2008, 01:18 AM   #18
asdflkijd
Aberry is a scammer
asdflkijd's Avatar
United_States
558
Rep
5,507
Posts

Drives: SGM E92 335i, AM E90 335i
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Seattle, WA

iTrader: (14)

Garage List
nice one, I think people might be confused that this is you........
Appreciate 0
      10-13-2008, 03:56 AM   #19
Comet
Troll Harder
Comet's Avatar
Lebanon
395
Rep
596
Posts

Drives: 997 GT3, 997 4 GTS, X6M
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Montreal, Beirut

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
if it were me, I wldnt have put it in the lighter side...

also I'd have at least invited people to a round of beer
__________________
Appreciate 0
      10-22-2008, 07:32 PM   #20
mjg335
Private First Class
United_States
12
Rep
112
Posts

Drives: 11 BMW 335 coupe &08 Yamaha R6
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Miami, FL

iTrader: (1)

Garage List
2008 R6  [0.00]
2007 335 coupe  [0.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by whyrms View Post
so which car to do you think he's going to buy?
mondays car-m6
tuesdays car- nissan gt-r
wed-ferrari
thrus-lambo
fri-aston martin
sat-slr
sun-rolls royce
Appreciate 0
      10-22-2008, 07:34 PM   #21
Scorpion
Major
No_Country
162
Rep
1,210
Posts

Drives: Nothing
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Nowhere

iTrader: (0)

Haha, that's awesome.
Appreciate 0
      11-11-2008, 10:22 PM   #22
PaulBailey@ltbmw
General
PaulBailey@ltbmw's Avatar
Italy
663
Rep
26,878
Posts

Drives: 2-325 330 2-335 2-Z4 2-135 X5d
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Huntington Beach, CA

iTrader: (34)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjg335 View Post
mondays car-m6
tuesdays car- nissan gt-r
wed-ferrari
thrus-lambo
fri-aston martin
sat-slr
sun-rolls royce
!!!!
Appreciate 0
Post Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:17 PM.




m5post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST