[El Cheapo Loco]

Son is of driving age and needs a car he can drive occasionally. We have 2 cars: my 6MT e90 and wife's 4runner. Here comes the problem, wife doesn't want an inexperienced teenage driver to drive MT or "a big SUV" (I know, over-protective mom but I'm not about to get into a debate about it for obvious reasons). Our family needs an SUV/truck, so here I am mulling the idea of replacing the 6MT e90 with something with an AT. Ugh...

Below are a few that I have in mind. Nothing from BMW is of interest to me, my love for BMW ends with the e90. So any suggestion is welcome but please don't tell me to disagree with my wife. Not happening.

GTI with DSG (will look at the new MK8 in a month or so)
Dodge Charger Scat Pack (love the v8 but not sure if appropriate for teenage driver)
Honda Accord 2.0T Sport (love the torquey 2.0T. Hondata flash for additional 60 ft/lbs)

[Street of Rage]

Get a used compact car for him that won't break bank, and you get to keep your MT. UNLESS you 2 are sharing a car...

[colorado.e9x]

I don't giving a car to him is the best move, especially a scat pack. If anything, make a deal with him to pay half. Teenagers will take care of a car a lot more when they work for it over just giving it to them. They'll probably still have some fun with it either way, but they'll baby it a lot more. I think something around 200-300hp will be plenty enough manageable horsepower for him, while still feeling "fast" and fun.

I say this from first hand experience, I'm 18 and That's exactly what I did. My Dad was generous enough to split the price with me and I worked my ass off to pay for it, maintain it, insurance, and of course a few mods cause how can you not? My friends and I have raced each other and have had quite a bit of fun without making it dangerous. I wouldn't doubt your son would do the same. If anything, a manual is safer. Sure he might stall it or grind gears at first but he'll appreciate knowing he can drive just about any vehicle on the road. Plus they're fun and "cool"

[milkmaster]

All four of my children experienced a manual transmission for their first car. No problem at all. Some benefits were that others didn't know how to drive their car even if my kids would have let them against my wishes. Less hands for texting in traffic. And now they are grown all of them know how if it becomes necessary. Having a manual transmission was never an issue with safely driving.

[King Rudi]

Interesting scenario. I understand the feeling that the E9X is the only BMW, I feel the exact same way.

As for your dilemma, why does your wife not want your son driving an SUV? I've heard tons of "soccer moms" make the comment that at least they are safe in an SUV if they are in an accident. I can somewhat see her point on the 6MT especially with a boy. I'm 42 and still drove mine like a jack ass, especially in a E92; the car just seems to want you to.

Not trying to tell you how to be a parent, but I would consider the notion of buying something cheap for him to drive regardless of how you, he or she pays for it. Most kids at this age are going to wreck/destroy their first vehicle. Unless you have to get rid of the E90 to pay for his car, I'd look into other options.

Also considering the other options of cars, your wife is concerned about him driving an E90 or a Four Runner, but she is cool with him driving a V8 Scat Pack or 2.0T only to be flashed for additional 60 ft lbs??? From being a parent myself, I'd feel way more comfortable handing down a Four Runner and buying the wifey something new. I can't help but feel like the mindset is a bit backward here.

[desertman123]

Driving manual = no texting and driving

How's that?

[Soden82]

Why not teach him stick? Wish when I was 16 or 17 I learned to drive stick.

My good friend bought his first car at 16 (1994 firebird 6MT with a built engine and built trans) and he's still around and never crashed it or got a ticket. So a scat pack is possible, and is a hoot to drive.

Personally I would choose a manual GTI. Fun car with plenty of pep, and won't get veer him into a guardrail like a scat pack would with a stab of the throttle on damp pavement.

[tgyberg]

I learned on a manual and my first car was a manual. Dooo iiiit!

[El Cheapo Loco]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

I can't help but feel like the mindset is a bit backward here.

Saying this to a woman is recipe for disaster. I'm not going there.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by El Cheapo Loco

Saying this to a woman is recipe for disaster. I'm not going there.

I don't disagree with you. From the female's perspective being ass backwards, suddenly this makes perfect sense. You are correct in your methodology of "not going there." Seasoned husband you are. Lucky wife you have there in knowing where to pick your battles. Well done & carry on.

[Efthreeoh]

Pull the manual trans reduces text card, or get a beater Civic. Check that... Beater E46 or E90. Teach the kid how to turn wrenches

[ccraig13]

So two of the cars (wasn't sure about the GTI) are faster than the e90 (unless 335, I couldn't tell), but we're worried about an MT? I wonder how our parents (and Europe still) survived their teenage years without automatics? I'm just messin, the low hanging fruit was too tempting ha

[El Cheapo Loco]

Everyone is telling me what I would've done. I'd rather drive a stick if I have a choice. But like I said, the wife disagrees and I'm not having that conversation.

[El Cheapo Loco]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

I don't disagree with you. From the female's perspective being ass backwards, suddenly this makes perfect sense. You are correct in your methodology of "not going there." Seasoned husband you are. Lucky wife you have there in knowing where to pick your battles. Well done & carry on.

Thank you sir. Finally someone grasping the situation here. You truly know the struggle is real.

[colorado.e9x]

Trade the MT in for an AT, problem solved

[Biginboca]

If you want to teach someone to drive then Auto

If you want to make someone a driver then Manual

I think a scat pack is a bad idea for a first car. I would lean towards the GTI with the DSG if it needs to be auto.

[tcphoto]

I was taught to drive on a manual, I think that I’d start looking for a used Accord, Camry or Compact SUV. Knowing new drivers, I would not want one driving my car.

[Dpc2u]

Well, I can tell you this much...

I have 3 young adults now in their early and mid 20's. When they were old enough to drive, there was no way they were driving any of mine. My wife insisted on automatics and lots of airbags. We ended up getting higher mileage cars that were in the $2500 range, S60 and S40 Volvos and a C230 mercedes. Good call I think. They all beat the living crap out of them, but fortunately I turned wrenches for a long time for a living and kept them going. The Merc had 325k when it finally died.

Advice from a 56 year old dad that has had many performance cars, get him a decent looking, safe, higher mileage car as a 1st car, no turbos, no high horsepower. A lot of learning goes on in the first couple of years, much to the demise of the first car.

[krhodes1]

I will about 4th suggesting pick up something cheapish for the kid.

More than likely, they WILL have an accident in their first year of driving - simple inexperience will do it. My 21yo nephew, who is as responsible and careful as the day is long (though a complete dumbass in other ways!), got his license 3 weeks ago. This past weekend, he was backing his stepmom's pickup down the driveway at my Mom's place, and misjudged how far he was from the post for the gate across the driveway. Did $6K in damage to the truck, and ripped a 4" steel post out of a concrete footing. Total accident, he feels terrible about it, but it's the sort of thing that happens to new drivers. Do you want that happening to YOUR car? Keep your nice BMW and get him a 5yo Camry or some such to destroy.

Personally, I managed to slide my '82 Subaru sideways into a curb in a snowstorm when I had my license for three months or so. $1K in damage 35 years ago.

[Explorerlyon]

I got a 2006 330i auto for my 16 year old son. Paid $3000 plus some maintenance with my son to teach him. Working on a car with a teenager is the best parent time ever.

[BMWinAZ]

Just ask your wife what she would think the ideal car for your child is, then go forth and find a used, affordable example of said vehicle. Buy the car and bring it home and either just give it to your kid or work out a payment plan ( whatever floats your or her boat). You get to keep your car, she gets to keep hers, she can't argue with you because the type of car was her idea, and your insurance doesn't go thru the roof because the new driver will be the primary on the cheapest car.

[Efthreeoh]

Originally Posted by El Cheapo Loco

Everyone is telling me what I would've done. I'd rather drive a stick if I have a choice. But like I said, the wife disagrees and I'm not having that conversation.

Seriously, what will she do to you if you have a conversation? A conversation about how teaching a teenage driver to use a manual transmission car is actually BETTER for him since he has to learn to be totally engaged with the act of driving. Being fully engaged in the act of driving means he HAS TO pay attention to traffic in order to MANUALLY shift the transmission so it is in the correct gear for the driving situation. The converse of this is your son can let the transmission shift for itself, and he can pay more attention to what is inside the car, like the radio and phone. If he has to learn how to pay attention to his driving situation and the driving environment, he will learn to be a safe driver and be less distracted by events that are not involved with the act of driving.

The act of mechanically/physically learning how to manipulate a foot-operated clutch in coordination with moving a lever to keep the car moving at the proper speed can be quickly learned in an afternoon and practiced in empty parking lots WITHOUT traffic around. Continuous use of the manual transmission then becomes muscle memory and dropped from consciousness, but by the time that completely sets in, your son will have learned a far more valuable lesson on how to pay attention to and read traffic, and read the road.



2 cents.