[Edinburra]

1) Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars? He gets to open the door to number 10

2) I told my Granddad to go to Amazon for his Christmas shopping. He phoned me two days later from Brazil.

3) Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they'd been floored by his punch.

4) How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? On the dark side.

5) Why did Santa pour Lemsip into the chimney? He was coming down with the flue.

6) Why don't Volkswagen hold Christmas Services? They get the readings wrong.

7) Why is there no Champagne at the Chelsea Christmas party? Because Mourinho got rid of the Fizzy-o.

8) Why was the turkey at the Talk Talk Christmas party such a mess? It was hacked.

9) Who's Rudolph's favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh.

10) What do Wikileaks staff have with their Christmas turkey? An anonymous sauce.

The competition was run by UKTV comedy channel Gold.

[Broncho]

Why doesn't Santa have any kids of his own?

Because he only comes once a year and it's down the chimney.

[alpine330D]

I've had a few and read this as fannys for christmas. My bad

[Quantox]

Originally Posted by Edinburra

1) Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars? He gets to open the door to number 10

2) I told my Granddad to go to Amazon for his Christmas shopping. He phoned me two days later from Brazil.

3) Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they'd been floored by his punch.

4) How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? On the dark side.

5) Why did Santa pour Lemsip into the chimney? He was coming down with the flue.

6) Why don't Volkswagen hold Christmas Services? They get the readings wrong.

7) Why is there no Champagne at the Chelsea Christmas party? Because Mourinho got rid of the Fizzy-o.

8) Why was the turkey at the Talk Talk Christmas party such a mess? It was hacked.

9) Who's Rudolph's favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh.

10) What do Wikileaks staff have with their Christmas turkey? An anonymous sauce.

The competition was run by UKTV comedy channel Gold.

Come on! That was stolen verbatim from the Daily Fail after the event. But I'll still use them over the Christmas party scene!!!

Given more application, Edinburra could achieve better results but he needs to apply himself to the task in hand and focus his activities on meaningful outcomes.

Q

[Quantox]

Originally Posted by alpine330D

I've had a few and read this as fannys for christmas. My bad

Do you need a new fanny then?
Plenty plastic surgeons online, most take cards as well. You could be complete for Christmas.

Seasons Greetings

Q

[Edinburra]

Originally Posted by Quantox

Come on! That was stolen verbatim from the Daily Fail after the event. But I'll still use them over the Christmas party scene!!!

Given more application, Edinburra could achieve better results but he needs to apply himself to the task in hand and focus his activities on meaningful outcomes.

Q

Was actually taken from SKY News if you must know! :

[alpine330D]

I've always wanted one for a day to see what they're like to own

Originally Posted by Quantox

Do you need a new fanny then?
Plenty plastic surgeons online, most take cards as well. You could be complete for Christmas.

Seasons Greetings

Q

[Rbrown]

Originally Posted by Quantox

Do you need a new fanny then?
Plenty plastic surgeons online, most take cards as well. You could be complete for Christmas.

Seasons Greetings

Q

NTG can recommend a good plastic surgeon!!!! It worked for him....