New Noelle Tune: initial numbers - Holy Cow!

gpdriver17 · 01-22-2020, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AK M5

Will do.
Eager to get better numbers.

Any specific one?
Suggestions? Links?

Amazon Prime. You'll have it tomorrow.

limeypride · 01-22-2020, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AK M5

New here, long time lurker.
Absolutely had to post...

Got the new Noelle Tune for my F90 M5 and the performance is obvious and awesome.

See the attached screenshot of my direct ODB app performance times.

0-60 - 2.33 secs
1/4-Mile - 10.15 secs

I'm dying to get to the drag strip to get official times (and destroy 99% of the guys at street night), but I wanted to offer some quick feedback on Noelle...

The M5 Tune is insane, and the shop that did the tune walked me carefully through keeping within the WARRANTY terms regarding maintenance.

Very happy with performance & service so far!

Holy crap it's a monster.

Happy to answer questions as I'm able, I'm not a pro car tech but can answer most...

Why did you buy the Noelle tune? By that I mean how did you discover it; what made you choose it over the other tunes available; did they provide compelling data?

As you saw in the other thread, we asked for some kind—any kind—of data but received only subjective exclamations of brilliance and excuses peppered with a dollop of random bull$hit such as shipping mistakes.

AddyDaddy · 01-22-2020, 05:20 PM

Ohh shit!! He obviously is new here and hasn't seen the last 2 threads on noelle! Please man tread lightly with this noelle tune on here!! There's not just a spark, there's a blazing fire of bullshit being posted. Get the dragy, and DO NOT SAY YOU WANT TO WAIT UNTIL YOU GET NEW TIRES! DO NOT TELL US DRAGY WAS SENT TO WRONG ADDRESS!! Please save yourself. Don't tell us it made stereo louder and changed your suspension.

I'm getting my popcorn ready for this. Just as I was getting sad about the other thread dying this comes along! I feel alive again! And it's his first posts and thread... Wooohoooooooo. So excited about this

For the record my M550i with evolves tune runs 60' at 1.7 sec so you must have traction issues running it at 1.85 and your only 3mph faster at the 1000' and run 2mph faster trap in the 1/4?

boredM · 01-22-2020, 05:28 PM

I believe an IP check by mods is in order lol

AddyDaddy · 01-22-2020, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boredM

I believe an IP check by mods is in order lol

No don't kill this thread! This is great! Bogus but simply amazing

AK M5 · 01-22-2020, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gpdriver17

This is total BS. I ran a 10.17 and trap speed was 137. 0-120 was 7.8. You're telling me your 0-120 took 2 seconds longer, but you ran a faster 1/4 mile with 10mph lower trap speed?

Edit: Sounds like you know you need a Dragy. Please make sure you ship it to the right address.

Oh my gosh these comments are freaking hilarious!

You guys are savages, haha.

The dragy is ordered & on the way,

Guys, I'm actually an HPDE track driver, with near zero drag exp. I will repost a new thread with true screenshots & numbers from the dragy for you guys to see & critique. Not using the ODB anymore!

Very interested in your feedback as you guys obviously have a lot of experience & knowledge driving in straight lines... ;-)

limeypride · 01-22-2020, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AK M5

Quote:

Originally Posted by gpdriver17

This is total BS. I ran a 10.17 and trap speed was 137. 0-120 was 7.8. You're telling me your 0-120 took 2 seconds longer, but you ran a faster 1/4 mile with 10mph lower trap speed?

Edit: Sounds like you know you need a Dragy. Please make sure you ship it to the right address.

Oh my gosh these comments are freaking hilarious!

You guys are savages, haha.

The dragy is ordered & on the way,

Guys, I'm actually an HPDE track driver, with near zero drag exp. I will repost a new thread with true screenshots & numbers from the dragy for you guys to see & critique. Not using the ODB anymore!

Very interested in your feedback as you guys obviously have a lot of experience & knowledge driving in straight lines... ;-)

Some of us enjoy corners, too, but, in the States, there aren't any so drag racing it is.

With Dragy, it has a social media aspect allowing you to upload times to a worldwide leaderboard. It will only allow you to upload valid runs—valid comprising downslope, etc. It looks like this:

shoei · 01-22-2020, 07:36 PM

I feel like we're going to be disappointed if this is a legit thread, lolol... What are we to do with our pitchforks and torches?!

limeypride · 01-22-2020, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shoei

I feel like we're going to be disappointed if this is a legit thread, lolol... What are we to do with our pitchforks and torches?!

You enjoy this perhaps a little too much...

shoei · 01-22-2020, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by limeypride

Quote:

Originally Posted by shoei

I feel like we're going to be disappointed if this is a legit thread, lolol... What are we to do with our pitchforks and torches?!

You enjoy this perhaps a little too much...

Not as much as you enjoyed riding on my moped...

limeypride · 01-22-2020, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shoei

Not as much as you enjoyed riding on my moped...

That's me in front... don't argue; you know that's just peachy by you.

AddyDaddy · 01-22-2020, 08:36 PM

OP
Just post a short vid of your car and a 0-100 run
That should be pretty easy. This is too classic honestly
First post is bragging about noelle on the heels of the past few none sense threads.
Video is easy and no excuse why you can put one up

Bmwusabmw · 01-22-2020, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shoei

I feel like we're going to be disappointed if this is a legit thread, lolol... What are we to do with our pitchforks and torches?!

no worries I'll create a 3rd thread about how my car just ran 8.1@176 all because of a Noelle tune...if this one turns out to be a bust. - maybe this one turns out to be legit.

You can create the 4th one.

josec70 · 01-22-2020, 09:45 PM

Our girl, Noelle. Missed ya around here.

Genius · 01-23-2020, 04:09 PM

So 60’ was 1.85@28mph and 0-40 was 1.85 seconds.
So at 1.85 seconds were you at 28 or 40mph?

gpdriver17 · 01-23-2020, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genius

So 60’ was 1.85@28mph and 0-40 was 1.85 seconds.
So at 1.85 seconds were you at 28 or 40mph?

I noticed that too.

limeypride · 01-23-2020, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gpdriver17

I noticed that too.

If Noelle's goal was to gain attention and awareness of their brand, job done! I don't think they thought it through fully, though.

This is truly absurd at this point and all of Shoei's apparent paranoia... well, it's no longer paranoia is it.

gtenedio · 01-23-2020, 08:20 PM

please go home.

limeypride · 01-23-2020, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtenedio

please go home.

Who, me? Are you sending me back to limeyland…

gtenedio · 01-23-2020, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by limeypride

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtenedio

please go home.

Who, me? Are you sending me back to limeyland…

OP and all of Noelle goons

limeypride · 01-23-2020, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtenedio

OP and all of Noelle goons

Phew, I'll go unpack...

shoei · 01-23-2020, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtenedio

Quote:

Originally Posted by limeypride

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtenedio

please go home.

Who, me? Are you sending me back to limeyland…

OP and all of Noelle goons

You'll have to excuse Limey... He's the cream puff of the group... EXTRA sensitive...

01-22-2020, 05:20 PM	#25
AddyDaddy Major 515 Rep 1,058 Posts Drives: i5 M60, M5's, 535.335, M550i Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: Here iTrader: (0) Garage List 2024 i5 M60 [8.25] 2019 BMW M550i Evol ... [7.50]	Ohh shit!! He obviously is new here and hasn't seen the last 2 threads on noelle! Please man tread lightly with this noelle tune on here!! There's not just a spark, there's a blazing fire of bullshit being posted. Get the dragy, and DO NOT SAY YOU WANT TO WAIT UNTIL YOU GET NEW TIRES! DO NOT TELL US DRAGY WAS SENT TO WRONG ADDRESS!! Please save yourself. Don't tell us it made stereo louder and changed your suspension. I'm getting my popcorn ready for this. Just as I was getting sad about the other thread dying this comes along! I feel alive again! And it's his first posts and thread... Wooohoooooooo. So excited about this For the record my M550i with evolves tune runs 60' at 1.7 sec so you must have traction issues running it at 1.85 and your only 3mph faster at the 1000' and run 2mph faster trap in the 1/4? __________________ 2013 535i M, Carbon black 20' 6 M wheels, totaled. 2018 750M , 2013 M5 , Individual Silver, Bolt ons-Straight piped 2019 M550 686BK Black Chrome 20"wheels, filters, Evolve Stage 1, Res delete 2024 i5 M60 Cape York Green
	Appreciate 0 Quote

01-22-2020, 05:28 PM	#26
boredM Second Lieutenant 124 Rep 256 Posts Drives: Ford F-350 & Nardo F90 Join Date: Dec 2018 Location: MS iTrader: (1)	I believe an IP check by mods is in order lol
	Appreciate 2 gpdriver17292.50 lsal135.50 Quote

01-22-2020, 07:36 PM	#30
shoei Banned 7779 Rep 2,602 Posts Drives: MW Vespa w/pink racing stripes Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Peeing in your garden iTrader: (3)	I feel like we're going to be disappointed if this is a legit thread, lolol... What are we to do with our pitchforks and torches?!
	Appreciate 0 Quote

01-22-2020, 08:36 PM	#34
AddyDaddy Major 515 Rep 1,058 Posts Drives: i5 M60, M5's, 535.335, M550i Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: Here iTrader: (0) Garage List 2024 i5 M60 [8.25] 2019 BMW M550i Evol ... [7.50]	OP Just post a short vid of your car and a 0-100 run That should be pretty easy. This is too classic honestly First post is bragging about noelle on the heels of the past few none sense threads. Video is easy and no excuse why you can put one up __________________ 2013 535i M, Carbon black 20' 6 M wheels, totaled. 2018 750M , 2013 M5 , Individual Silver, Bolt ons-Straight piped 2019 M550 686BK Black Chrome 20"wheels, filters, Evolve Stage 1, Res delete 2024 i5 M60 Cape York Green
	Appreciate 0 Quote

01-22-2020, 09:45 PM	#36
josec70 Major General 4062 Rep 5,231 Posts Drives: 22' Individual Chalk M5C Join Date: Dec 2015 Location: Miami iTrader: (2)	Our girl, Noelle. Missed ya around here. __________________ CURRENT: 22' INDIVIDUAL M5\| CHALK \| TARTUFO \| CCB \| MPE \| H&R \| IND GONE: 19' M5C\| SINGAPORE GREY\| ARAGON\|VELOS VLS-06\|H&R\|iPE\|IND\|XPEL\|CF\|RADENSO GONE: 15' F10 M5\|BSM\|BLACK\|VELOS VSS-S2\|KW\|AKRA\|IND\|CF \|ESCORT 360\|VELOS PIGGY GONE: 13' F10 M5\|SG\|BLACK\|AKRA\|KW\|IND LONG GONE: 09' E60 M5\|02' E39 M5
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01-23-2020, 04:09 PM	#37
Genius Private First Class 222 Rep 122 Posts Drives: AW F90 M5C, e39 M5, E30 M3 Join Date: Apr 2018 Location: Huntington Beach CA iTrader: (0)	So 60’ was 1.85@28mph and 0-40 was 1.85 seconds. So at 1.85 seconds were you at 28 or 40mph?
	Appreciate 1 gpdriver17292.50 Quote

01-23-2020, 08:20 PM	#40
gtenedio Major 348 Rep 1,237 Posts Drives: '%E2%80%9909 e92 m3, '19 X3, % Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: nyc iTrader: (1)	please go home. __________________ .
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