[dinonz]

Originally Posted by IllSic_Design

I feel your pain on this Dinon, and don't have a solution. I am ok in the looks department, but I'm a total introvert and hate small talk, so I also i find it very hard to start the convo/keep it going if they aren't really saying much. I also find I'll try to get the convo going by asking about stuff in their profile/pictures or their interests, but usually get dry, few word responses and if I don't ask/say anything they don't keep the convo going, never ask me anything, etc.. Tough game for us dudes that aren't smooth talkers

Yeah - do you find though that after the 3rd or 4th meeting things are a lot easier? You know their family, their pets, their interests, their plans for the past x days - you immediately have things to talk about, and as mentioned most peoples favorite subject is themselves so if you can get them started you're golden.

Same with the initial conversation - some people are easier that others - they offer up things that help. Asking someone "how was your weekend?" and being told "it was ok" doesn't help. Being told "oh - went sailing with friends and..." now you can ask about their sailing and what they took out (if they even know).

[vreihen16]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

If you genuinely like dogs, get one. This isn't as a prop but so many ladies love dogs. When I have Carrington and take him out and about, so many ladies ask about him and even take his picture.

I should rent my wife's dog out by the hour! He flirts his tail off around women, and I'm sure that he'd make the ultimate wing-man for a single guy.....

[IllSic_Design]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Yeah - do you find though that after the 3rd or 4th meeting things are a lot easier? You know their family, their pets, their interests, their plans for the past x days - you immediately have things to talk about, and as mentioned most peoples favorite subject is themselves so if you can get them started you're golden.

Same with the initial conversation - some people are easier that others - they offer up things that help. Asking someone "how was your weekend?" and being told "it was ok" doesn't help. Being told "oh - went sailing with friends and..." now you can ask about their sailing and what they took out (if they even know).

Yeah even though I'm an introvert it definitely is easier in person and definitely after meeting once or twice, convo's flow a lot easier/better.

I feel like most of the time in messages I am doing most/all the work, even trying to solicit more than the few word response. I eventually stop messaging after a few messages because I get discouraged and/or annoyed. I get we're playing the numbers game, it just becomes tiring when all of the people I message are lame a.f. or not interesting.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

"I can tell by your eyes and smile that you have a kind spirit and good heart. It's really nice to still see that in someone after we've all had such a difficult 2020. What has been your secret to handling it all?"

I've put your words to the test - someone WAY too hot for me came up on OK Cupid so I sent that message - I'll tell you if she responds!

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by IllSic_Design

Yeah even though I'm an introvert it definitely is easier in person and definitely after meeting once or twice, convo's flow a lot easier/better.

I feel like most of the time in messages I am doing most/all the work, even trying to solicit more than the few word response. I eventually stop messaging after a few messages because I get discouraged and/or annoyed. I get we're playing the numbers game, it just becomes tiring when all of the people I message are lame a.f. or not interesting.

Some women expect to be charmed and swept off their feet - and then bitch when you turn out to be a player/fuck boy. Some even state on their profile that you have to be able to make them laugh - with a lot of people that's not hard but if they have to state it you're in trouble. Almost as bad as those people who "love to laugh and have fun" because I fucking hate doing that - who the hell wants to laugh and have fun? Weirdos.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by dinonz

I've put your words to the test - someone WAY too hot for me came up on OK Cupid so I sent that message - I'll tell you if she responds!

That's the spirit!!

Don't give a crap and they will come!!

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

That's the spirit!!

Don't give a crap and they will come!!

I expect this will be as exciting as watching paint dry

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by dinonz

I expect this will be as exciting as watching paint dry

Depending on the paint is used for...

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

That's the spirit!!

Don't give a crap and they will come!!

Didn't take as long as I expected!

"Thank you"

Polite, didn't answer the obvious question, and at best is a "go away".

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Didn't take as long as I expected!

"Thank you"

Polite, didn't answer the obvious question, and at best is a "go away".

Dino, again, I've got nothing but love for you.....but I'll be damned if you aren't the most negative sounding person on here. I know girls (attractive girls even) who sleep with guys that don't have jobs, missing teeth, live with their parents while not having a job and no teeth. What gets them dates (and laid) is their personality. Brother I think you spend too much time coming up with reasons as to "why not."

I think you just need to change your mindset. Throughout this thread, I see your posts, then I see people offer advice, then I see you tell people how that won't work. I'll say this, if I'm interviewing candidates for a position and I have someone tell me what I want done won't work, I'm open and I'll listen (just in case I missed something and this person may know more than I do). If I continue to see other people accomplish what I want done, and this one person is telling me it can't be done; I'll hire a different candidate. Just food for thought man.

Those of us trying to offer solutions, aren't here to try to make you feel any certain way, we are just trying to help by sharing what worked for us. I feel like the negativity expressed here may be oozing from your pores in general. Women pick up on this and zero in on it. Get confident sir. You have all the makings to do so. Everything else will come easy.

Case in point. I'm not what one would a very attractive person, maybe I'm wrong, but it's just not how I see myself. I used to weight 240, I now weigh 140 but still not chiseled looking (but I'm still working on it), I'm bald (shaven) because I started losing my hair a few years ago (rather than hide it or cover it - I embraced it), I'm covered in 20 year old tattoos (used to be a tattoo artist - so yeah the former bad boy thing works for me), on top of this, I'm 44 and starting to show my age. The point of saying all this? Women still flirt with me, and often. I catch girls half my age checking me out at the gym. My girlfriend looks like she's in her 20's. How? I'm confident in who I am and I'm told it exudes from me. To me, I'm just some 40-something year old, bald guy, with old tattoos, who stays stressed out. The people around me see me in a different light apparently. It's not about what you look like, what you have to offer, etc.; it's your personality that attracts people. Some of the ugliest and dumbest damn people I have ever met have smoking hot girlfriends or wives. Why? Because they were able to make their significant other feel comfortable around them.

Now! Reply to the "Thank you" message with a simple "You are quite welcome. How are things working out for you on (insert dating app name here)?" Things aren't going too well on said dating app or she wouldn't still be on there, unless she's just a slut and wants attention. If that's the case, ask her out, have some pointless sex and up that confidence level. Create a simple, yet entertaining conversation with her. She replied. That's a huge thing on app dating. If nothing else, it's a new personality to learn and gain experience from. The world is full of pearls sir, you just have to dive a little.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Didn't take as long as I expected!

"Thank you"

Polite, didn't answer the obvious question, and at best is a "go away".

Then say, "You're welcome...how was your day?"

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Dino, again, I've got nothing but love for you.....but I'll be damned if you aren't the most negative sounding person on here. I know girls (attractive girls even) who sleep with guys that don't have jobs, missing teeth, live with their parents while not having a job and no teeth. What gets them dates (and laid) is their personality. Brother I think you spend too much time coming up with reasons as to "why not."

I think you just need to change your mindset. Throughout this thread, I see your posts, then I see people offer advice, then I see you tell people how that won't work. I'll say this, if I'm interviewing candidates for a position and I have someone tell me what I want done won't work, I'm open and I'll listen (just in case I missed something and this person may know more than I do). If I continue to see other people accomplish what I want done, and this one person is telling me it can't be done; I'll hire a different candidate. Just food for thought man.

Those of us trying to offer solutions, aren't here to try to make you feel any certain way, we are just trying to help by sharing what worked for us. I feel like the negativity expressed here may be oozing from your pores in general. Women pick up on this and zero in on it. Get confident sir. You have all the makings to do so. Everything else will come easy.

Case in point. I'm not what one would a very attractive person, maybe I'm wrong, but it's just not how I see myself. I used to weight 240, I now weigh 140 but still not chiseled looking (but I'm still working on it), I'm bald (shaven) because I started losing my hair a few years ago (rather than hide it or cover it - I embraced it), I'm covered in 20 year old tattoos (used to be a tattoo artist - so yeah the former bad boy thing works for me), on top of this, I'm 44 and starting to show my age. The point of saying all this? Women still flirt with me, and often. I catch girls half my age checking me out at the gym. My girlfriend looks like she's in her 20's. How? I'm confident in who I am and I'm told it exudes from me. To me, I'm just some 40-something year old, bald guy, with old tattoos, who stays stressed out. The people around me see me in a different light apparently. It's not about what you look like, what you have to offer, etc.; it's your personality that attracts people. Some of the ugliest and dumbest damn people I have ever met have smoking hot girlfriends or wives. Why? Because they were able to make their significant other feel comfortable around them.

Now! Reply to the "Thank you" message with a simple "You are quite welcome. How are things working out for you on (insert dating app name here)?" Things aren't going too well on said dating app or she wouldn't still be on there, unless she's just a slut and wants attention. If that's the case, ask her out, have some pointless sex and up that confidence level. Create a simple, yet entertaining conversation with her. She replied. That's a huge thing on app dating. If nothing else, it's a new personality to learn and gain experience from. The world is full of pearls sir, you just have to dive a little.

Great minds think alike! You nailed it with this!!

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Dino, again, I've got nothing but love for you.....but I'll be damned if you aren't the most negative sounding person on here. I know girls (attractive girls even) who sleep with guys that don't have jobs, missing teeth, live with their parents while not having a job and no teeth. What gets them dates (and laid) is their personality. Brother I think you spend too much time coming up with reasons as to "why not."

I think you just need to change your mindset. Throughout this thread, I see your posts, then I see people offer advice, then I see you tell people how that won't work. I'll say this, if I'm interviewing candidates for a position and I have someone tell me what I want done won't work, I'm open and I'll listen (just in case I missed something and this person may know more than I do). If I continue to see other people accomplish what I want done, and this one person is telling me it can't be done; I'll hire a different candidate. Just food for thought man.

Those of us trying to offer solutions, aren't here to try to make you feel any certain way, we are just trying to help by sharing what worked for us. I feel like the negativity expressed here may be oozing from your pores in general. Women pick up on this and zero in on it. Get confident sir. You have all the makings to do so. Everything else will come easy.

Case in point. I'm not what one would a very attractive person, maybe I'm wrong, but it's just not how I see myself. I used to weight 240, I now weigh 140 but still not chiseled looking (but I'm still working on it), I'm bald (shaven) because I started losing my hair a few years ago (rather than hide it or cover it - I embraced it), I'm covered in 20 year old tattoos (used to be a tattoo artist - so yeah the former bad boy thing works for me), on top of this, I'm 44 and starting to show my age. The point of saying all this? Women still flirt with me, and often. I catch girls half my age checking me out at the gym. My girlfriend looks like she's in her 20's. How? I'm confident in who I am and I'm told it exudes from me. To me, I'm just some 40-something year old, bald guy, with old tattoos, who stays stressed out. The people around me see me in a different light apparently. It's not about what you look like, what you have to offer, etc.; it's your personality that attracts people. Some of the ugliest and dumbest damn people I have ever met have smoking hot girlfriends or wives. Why? Because they were able to make their significant other feel comfortable around them.

Now! Reply to the "Thank you" message with a simple "You are quite welcome. How are things working out for you on (insert dating app name here)?" Things aren't going too well on said dating app or she wouldn't still be on there, unless she's just a slut and wants attention. If that's the case, ask her out, have some pointless sex and up that confidence level. Create a simple, yet entertaining conversation with her. She replied. That's a huge thing on app dating. If nothing else, it's a new personality to learn and gain experience from. The world is full of pearls sir, you just have to dive a little.

I can't reply - she's un-matched me already. I have to go try to title the Diablo - that's the easiest one after Covid and Snowpocalypse - I'll digest the rest when I get back.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by dinonz

I can't reply - she's un-matched me already. I have to go try to title the Diablo - that's the easiest one after Covid and Snowpocalypse - I'll digest the rest when I get back.

Move on to the next one!

[Turkish Pickle]

Either I'm too much of a douche, or there's a very obvious different in tactness for dating between generations. Both are equally plausible, I am a self aware douche.

I'd NEVER say anything like that, because I wouldn't get a reply from girls my age.

My most succesful tinder bio was something along the lines of "looking to trade my dad's money for a green card". I'll have to dig a bit because I haven't been on anything for the good part of a year now but not giving a single crap on what anyone thinks of you is EXTREMELY liberating.

Am I proud to be a douche? No, not really; it's a facade more than anything. But that seemed like the rules of the game so I just played along

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Either I'm too much of a douche, or there's a very obvious different in tactness for dating between generations. Both are equally plausible, I am a self aware douche.

So, you know your market. dinoz I think is NOT of your generation, and probably not targeting the same demographics as you. That's why those old geezers Rudy and MK are trying to help him

SHOTS FIRED

[Tambohamilton]

+1, pickle. I'm not any sort of player - definitely awkward and introverted - playing a bit daft definitely seemed to grease the wheels of conversation. Not stupidity, but just not serious and definitely not chat up lines.

Also we'll said Rudi

[CTinline-six]

If you can make them laugh, have decent hygiene, and aren't a macho douche the field is yours.

[M5Rick]

Women are going to be far more choosy on computer dating especially if the men outnumber them say three to one in the agency books and it's easy for men to feel dejected when they don't score immediately.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Move on to the next one!

Yep. Spot on. Funny story time. Was talking to a girl on whatever dating site. She was cute, not my type, I like dangerous and fun over religious goody two-shoes (those girls can't keep up with or handle me.....at all.) Anyway, after chatting and a few phone calls over about a week and a half; she tells me that she had been talking with me and another guy. She then tells me that she wants to pursue her interest in the other guy. This is where being funny bites me in the ass. I reply to her message with "How dare you! I have fallen head over heels in love with you over the last week even though I don't even know you." I instantly reply "Just kidding, thank you for your honesty and I enjoyed the conversation. Good luck with (whoever, I'm sure they aren't together now anyway) I hope everything works out." I go to hit send on the second message and she had already blocked me. Dammit. I feel like I have maybe mentioned this story before, if so forgive me. My memory is terrible these days. Uncle Wede I'm sure will have something to say about old age.....because really old ass people love to comment on how old the Freshmen of the geriatric community are.

Still funny to me that someone out there thinks I'm a psychopath, because they hit that f*ck you button all too fast.

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Either I'm too much of a douche, or there's a very obvious different in tactness for dating between generations. Both are equally plausible, I am a self aware douche.

I'd NEVER say anything like that, because I wouldn't get a reply from girls my age.

My most succesful tinder bio was something along the lines of "looking to trade my dad's money for a green card". I'll have to dig a bit because I haven't been on anything for the good part of a year now but not giving a single crap on what anyone thinks of you is EXTREMELY liberating.

Am I proud to be a douche? No, not really; it's a façade more than anything. But that seemed like the rules of the game so I just played along

In the past 8 years, I have dated fro 20 to 50-something year olds. The difference is VAST. Some very mature 20 year olds, some very immature older ladies and everything in between. The trick is this, you can't go after varying age groups at the same time. You can, but you won't be completely successful. As with anything that you want in life, you need to come up with the desired end result first, then reverse engineer your approach. If I was trying to get with younger girls, I had to change up my approach. The things my bio would say if I'm looking for an older lady would included: Stable, hardworking, career minded man, looking for someone to spend time with. A few pictures with button downs with a nice backdrop. Done. The matches soon follow. With younger girls, I was young and stupid once; it isn't hard to channel that age again. Problem is now, a lot of the younger generation now aren't stupid and reckless, they're intelligent SJW's, they're just idiots to try to carry a conversation with. Loong story short......YES, vast varying differences in demographics in age with ladies. What works for one can not be used in another, unless the maturity spectrum is as backwards as our society is.

Originally Posted by UncleWede

So, you know your market. dinoz I think is NOT of your generation, and probably not targeting the same demographics as you. That's why those old geezers Rudy and MK are trying to help him

SHOTS FIRED

Pre-emptive return fire already.

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

+1, pickle. I'm not any sort of player - definitely awkward and introverted - playing a bit daft definitely seemed to grease the wheels of conversation. Not stupidity, but just not serious and definitely not chat up lines.

Also we'll said Rudi

Thank you sir. I too am socially awkward, use it. Call attention to it and make a game of it in public. Chicks dig shit like this. I have this "gift" of being able to read people. Some dates that I had been on, in the past, where things seem to lull, I would explain this talent, then look around the venue and start describing people's relationships, who is in charge, who makes more money, etc. Then it would turn into what are they talking about? Then our conversation would turn to jokingly trying to decide what they are discussing and creating dialogue based off their facial expression and body language. Next thing you know, my date is doing it too. Seems childish, but that shit works. Entice a girls imagination and get her smiling, add alcohol and physical/eye contact - you're in for a good night.

[m630]

@dinonz, believe you are gen X so definitely leann into Rudi and MKs advice. While im genX as well, ive never had to do the online thing so cant help there, though i feel for anyone from our gen that has to deal with this new world order.

But, a few thoughts to highlight as others have pointed out, your confidence in yourself needs to shine to be successful- which by reading the bits and pieces seems to be the case in your professional life...so you need to focus the same energy that made you financially successful into your personal life. And that means everything you did to succeed, the prepartion to hone your skills, your approach to problem solving and on and on.
If you are not happy with some of the things about yourself that you can control -ie presentability, weight, tidiness and so on, that will be projected on anyone you are trying to approach so i do suggest you work that out regardless....just like knowing when you wear a suit to a power meeting so to speak. You dress for the part and in this case dressing is your entire presentability, you dont have to be “hot” to be cool.

Finally, great story on your dog- and very cute...But...reading that story makes me feel that you have a sure built in failure to any future relationship, so I recommend working that out asap. Say you get the right match online and make a real connection, you have a few dates and you finally get her to come to your home- to a dog that fiercly hates anyone but yourself! Boom! All that work destroyed in an instant- and that will absolutely happen if you take no action.
As it seems you have been successful, well hire a dog trainer, heck hire 2 if thats whats needed, but you cant have that as yet another obstacle and surely there is some trainer out there that can help you and the pup find some peace around other human beings...good luck

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by m630

@dinonz, believe you are gen X so definitely leann into Rudi and MKs advice.

Finally, great story on your dog- and very cute...But...reading that story makes me feel that you have a sure built in failure to any future relationship, so I recommend working that out asap. Say you get the right match online and make a real connection, you have a few dates and you finally get her to come to your home- to a dog that fiercly hates anyone but yourself! Boom! All that work destroyed in an instant- and that will absolutely happen if you take no action.
As it seems you have been successful, well hire a dog trainer, heck hire 2 if thats whats needed, but you cant have that as yet another obstacle and surely there is some trainer out there that can help you and the pup find some peace around other human beings...good luck

Yeah! I like this advice dinonz - I'm going to build on it. My advice is to contact Ceasar Milan and get on his show to get your dog sorted. Best part of this is that you get your face out there to thousands (I originally typed millions, but then figured probably not for Caesar Milan) and you can maybe work in a little self deprecating story in there, laugh about it, work on being confident on camera and boom - free advertising for the Dinonz. Make sure to mention you are looking for your soulmate and a good way to contact you.

Caesar Milan - that's your ticket right there. Gotta be tons of women watching that show. And I mean that in the metric sense as well.