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      04-13-2016, 07:56 AM   #1
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Ask a Black person anything? (Paul Mooney Style)

Well, given the recent thread by Lups being bumped with regard to racism, have at it folks. Also, I'm tired of peer pressure from Mywifes335. I guess I lose some black points for that.



My fellow blacks, silvergray545, Mr Tonka, John Tanglewood, etc., feel free to chime in as you see fit.



*Carlton dance*
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      04-13-2016, 07:58 AM   #2
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Dude, these fucking tags.



InB4 tag derailment.
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      04-13-2016, 07:59 AM   #3
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Verbiage CONGRATULATIONS! You stepped up!
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Why the sad face, I fucking love sausage.
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      04-13-2016, 08:02 AM   #4
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Do you honestly like watermelon and fried chicken (together or separate)?
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      04-13-2016, 08:03 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by Mywifes335 View Post
Verbiage CONGRATULATIONS! You stepped up!

Blacks don't step up to no man dem days ova.




Abe Lincoln my n!99@.
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      04-13-2016, 08:04 AM   #6
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Can you share what you know about hair weaves? Is this a common thing you saw in black girls while growing up? At what age do they start getting them?
I did not grow up around black people at all so I don't know about black people's hair.
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      04-13-2016, 08:05 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
Do you honestly like watermelon and fried chicken (together or separate)?
Watermelon is the only fruit on the planet that exists for African American consumption.

History shows that it was grown for blacks, there is genetic evidence of this leading back to the times before Christ.

In fact, my pre-workout, post workout Amino's, and 40oz are watermelon flavored.



Fried chicken is best consumed with biscuits and gravy, or dirty rice.
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      04-13-2016, 08:07 AM   #8
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Ahh Paul Mooney, fucking loved that guy on the Chappelle Show.

"Wayne Brady makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X".

"Hollywood is crazy. The Last Samurai starring....Tom Cruise? He’s the last samurai? Give me a break. That movie was offensive. I mean, Hollywood is crazy. First they had The Mexican with Brad Pitt and now they’ve got The Last Samurai with Tom Cruise. Well I’ve written a film, maybe they’ll produce my film, The Last N**** on Earth starring Tom Hanks. How ‘bout that?

Cracks me up to this day.
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      04-13-2016, 08:07 AM   #9
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On fried chicken, what's best:

- KFC
- Church's
- Popeye's
- Your mama's
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Why the sad face, I fucking love sausage.
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      04-13-2016, 08:07 AM   #10
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Oooh, oooh - I have another one.

Are you proud to be black, and if so, is that wrong?

If it is not wrong, why is it wrong for a white man to be proud he's white?

If it is wrong to be proud to be black, then don't you think there's something wrong with society where you can't be proud of who you are?

This thread is going to degenerate quickly, but it promises to be amusing

Quick, where are the PC police?
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      04-13-2016, 08:09 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by bimmette View Post
Can you share what you know about hair weaves? Is this a common thing you saw in black girls while growing up? At what age do they start getting them?
I did not grow up around black people at all so I don't know about black people's hair.
Hair weaves are a creation by Satan himself to mislead the black man.


As we work hard in life and desire women with real hair, it seems that we cannot have it all, and are forced to feel a wig with the consistency of a brillo-pad. Either wear it natural or shave it off.



Women in mainstream media have misconstrued and led our women astray, leading them to believe that they need to have hair down to their ass, which is obviously not theirs.


Growing up, most of the girls I knew didn't have weaves. High school and onward though, it became a staple.


I even dated a girl that literally had 4 wigs on her dresser and picked a different one to rotate each day. At nighttime, she looked like a runaway slave when her natural hair came out. It was so weird.
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      04-13-2016, 08:12 AM   #12
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I'm half black so I figure I'll ask an actual question,

Does it piss you off when you're accused of "being white"? I don't even know wtf people mean when they say that but it drives me nuts.
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      04-13-2016, 08:12 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mywifes335 View Post
On fried chicken, what's best:

- KFC
- Church's
- Popeye's
- Your mama's
Popeyes reigns supreme, but Church's is a close second.


KFC is somehow the designated "black people" chicken, but it is the most grease-ridden fried flaked skin I've ever consumed. It's horrid.


Popeyes satisfies the black majority by its perfect blend of texture, juiciness, and spiced varieties. However, due to its price, most blacks must gather their funds together to split a bucket that will last approximately 7 minutes.



Mom is Jamaican, and she won the money in the family. No time for chicken frying.
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      04-13-2016, 08:14 AM   #14
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Verbiage - Any particular reason I was excluded from the 'ask' list..?

My qualification list includes:
I can jump (Check)
I can dance - Pop/Lock and Top Rock, B-Boy (Check)
I eat anything/everything fried (Check)
I LOVE Water Mellon (Check)
I am with a white woman (Check)
I have seen Chris Rock, Charlie Murphy, Kevin Hart, Bruce Bruce, Chris Tucker, Mike Epps, Sinbad, Adell Givens, DL Hugley, Steve Harvey, Cedric the Entertainer = NUMEROUS TIMES...(Check and Check)

WTH man...?!?!
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She stood there. Pointed a finger at me and laughed at me. That damn bitch.
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Poop shit, shit and poop. I'm mildly angry now.
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      04-13-2016, 08:14 AM   #15
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Speaking of Carlton, what was your opinion of the Fresh Prince of Belair tv show?
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      04-13-2016, 08:15 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Verbiage View Post
Well, given the recent thread by Lups being bumped with regard to racism, have at it folks. Also, I'm tired of peer pressure from Mywifes335. I guess I lose some black points for that.



My fellow blacks, silvergray545, Mr Tonka, John Tanglewood, etc., feel free to chime in as you see fit.



*Carlton dance*
Are you certain these are the only blacks who post on OT?
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      04-13-2016, 08:16 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
Oooh, oooh - I have another one.

Are you proud to be black, and if so, is that wrong?

If it is not wrong, why is it wrong for a white man to be proud he's white?

If it is wrong to be proud to be black, then don't you think there's something wrong with society where you can't be proud of who you are?

This thread is going to degenerate quickly, but it promises to be amusing

Quick, where are the PC police?
I am proud to be black, but sometimes I unfortunately am not. Especially these days. I don't feel either is wrong.

I am not proud of the stigma that surrounds young black men, and they do nothing as a whole to distinguish themselves in society as they continue to stab one another in metro stations, shoot each other point blank in broad daylight, start fights with people for no reason, and use every possible moment to display bouts of ignorance and stupidity.


I didn't know it was wrong for a white man to be proud he was white. I get accused of having white tendencies all the time.


We are who we choose to be in today's world, that is the beauty of the society in which we live. Unfortunately, it is a double-edged sword.
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      04-13-2016, 08:16 AM   #18
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I'll throw out the softball.

What is your favorite FLAVOR of Kool Aid.

#purpledrank
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      04-13-2016, 08:17 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bimmette View Post
Can you share what you know about hair weaves? Is this a common thing you saw in black girls while growing up? At what age do they start getting them?
I did not grow up around black people at all so I don't know about black people's hair.
Some say the horse that was used for it's tail died a miserable death just to make a woman named Biancaquisha feel pretty.
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      04-13-2016, 08:17 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by jtodd_fl View Post
I'll throw out the softball.

What is your favorite FLAVOR of Kool Aid.

#purpledrank
Everyone knows that no flavor actually correlates to any color of Kool Aid...TRICKERY!!!!!!
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      04-13-2016, 08:18 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fecurtis View Post
I'm half black so I figure I'll ask an actual question,

Does it piss you off when you're accused of "being white"? I don't even know wtf people mean when they say that but it drives me nuts.
Well, when I was younger I was told by some blacks that I talked funny. As I got older, funny became "white". I was honestly kind of offended by it, initially.


However, as I grew older and entered varying environments (corporate, academic, social), I saw that people respected my well-spoken nature and mannerisms; seems as though most blacks set the bar pretty fucking low.


No matter for me. I plan on continuing to break the mold and doing something special one day.
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      04-13-2016, 08:21 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93 View Post
Verbiage - Any particular reason I was excluded from the 'ask' list..?

My qualification list includes:
I can jump (Check)
I can dance - Pop/Lock and Top Rock, B-Boy (Check)
I eat anything/everything fried (Check)
I LOVE Water Mellon (Check)
I am with a white woman (Check)
I have seen Chris Rock, Charlie Murphy, Kevin Hart, Bruce Bruce, Chris Tucker, Mike Epps, Sinbad, Adell Givens, DL Hugley, Steve Harvey, Cedric the Entertainer = NUMEROUS TIMES...(Check and Check)

WTH man...?!?!
You know, I was putting this thread together pretty quickly, my bad. Carry on, brotha man.


You absolutely fit the qualifications of a chocolate man, including the spelling of watermelon. Amen.
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