[mr_dennis_s]

Looks like Noelle Performance just posted dyno graphs on their facebook page. I know this may not be good as dragy times. But these numbers are very impressive! I made an appointment to get my M5C flashed with their software this coming Monday.

[JBA87]

I think DME Stage 2 does 711 to the wheels


So tunes are pretty comparable

[Fuel-It!]

There is a Nolle F90 tune discussion there here: https://f90.bimmerpost.com/forums/sh....php?t=1688344

Was an interesting read!

[mr_dennis_s]

Originally Posted by JBA87

I think DME Stage 2 does 711 to the wheels


So tunes are pretty comparable

Yeah that's true. I think the major difference is they seem to make that power with no hardware changes. It is definitely impressive enough for me to give it a shot.

[Vic55]

oh no not another one!!

Edit: dont drink the Microsoft Paint Kool Aid

Hockeytyme
shoei

[mr_dennis_s]

Originally Posted by Fuel-It!

There is a Nolle F90 tune discussion there here: https://f90.bimmerpost.com/forums/sh....php?t=1688344

Was an interesting read!

Yeah I read that one and the other two as well...haha. I completely get the skepticism but these numbers seem legit so I am excited to see on Monday.

[josec70]

Say it isn't so ... TY, f-ing next!

[JBA87]

I talked to a guy that got the Noelle tune down here and apparently the modify the power delivery when launch control is enabled so the quarter times / 0-60 not very good but it apparently pulls very hard 60-130

Still would love to see some dragy times

[MNoob]

Wonder if it was a customer car, because now the warranty is void.

[Fuel-It!]

Originally Posted by mr_dennis_s

Yeah I read that one and the other two as well...haha. I completely get the skepticism but these numbers seem legit so I am excited to see on Monday.

Be sure to grab a dragy curious to see how it runs!

[r33_RGSport]

Originally Posted by Vic55

oh no not another one!!

Edit: dont drink the Microsoft Paint Kool Aid

Hockeytyme
shoei

Perfect thread during lockdown.

[BMWDriverX]

An easy rule to live by when it comes to cars and tunes..

Don't ever buy a tune from any company based on the numbers you see from them, always go by real world data from their customers and you will end up saving money, and also you will not feel like a dumb b!tch deep down inside.

I have seen plenty of air filter companies stating that you get 50hp from installing their filter, real world data shows 15hp and then all of a sudden you're putting on clown makeup and dancing in your bathroom

[4BMWGarage]

They also posted a video

https://www.noelleperformance.com/f90-m5-chassis-dyno/

[Hockeytyme]

What do you think boys limeypride shoei ??

Another perfect storm, wind blows in the right direction and another person with a new account with very few posts and zero rep is suddenly in love with Noelle? LMAO.......

The last 3 guys all said the same shit. How much they love and believe in Noelle, bought the tune because they are believers, how their butt dyno tells them it runs a 3.2 blah blah blah

All 3 of them were talked into buying Dragy's and said they would post results and dyno the cars. Only one actually posted anything and that was a bunch of errors and that he had to take his car back to BMW. The others refused to post any of their results claiming we don't deserve it, i'm too busy, I don't know how to post pictures, and so on.

You my friend are about to get flamed once again. Someone ban his IP please. He's not the brightest and I would imagine doesn't know how to use a proxy to get back in.

Headed to the grocery store.
After toilet paper I'm going right to the popcorn isle.

[limeypride]

Originally Posted by mr_dennis_s

Looks like Noelle Performance just posted dyno graphs on their facebook page. I know this may not be good as dragy times. But these numbers are very impressive! I made an appointment to get my M5C flashed with their software this coming Monday.

Of course you did.

I made 720hp and 740ft Ibs of torque to the wheels with a $900 box I installed myself on a 2019 F90--so what's so great about this fictitious tune? I've got more hp, this fiction states more torque. My first F90 and the subsequent two cars I've had since (F90 and now an M8) have the same piggyback and both 2020s are faster than the 2019. Also noteworthy, my dyno data comes from an independent source on an Audi tuner's Mustang dyno--no bias.

I also have launch, 1/8th mile and 1/4 mile numbers across all 3 cars--numbers that outperform most super cars. Where are Noelle's? Not videos they(you) made, rather, numbers from legitimate sources. So in the absence of those, why are you so enamored? It's rhetorical--we all know why you're such an apparently naive fan.

You joined this forum in 2008 and have posted only 31 times.. yet something about this tune--that has no credible history and a community ranking of utter poppycock--causes you to do so. Furthermore, your post is identical in nature to the other liars that tried to sell this fantasy (no history, no reputation, no legitimate reason).

Net net: I don't believe you, I don't believe the numbers and neither will anyone else.

[mr_dennis_s]

Oh man!! When I saw the dynos posted on Noelle’s facebook page I really wondered if I should post them to one of those previous Noelle threads or start a new thread. I opted to start a new one because when I tried searching these forums for info about the Noelle tune I couldn’t find any real data and the other threads really got off topic. I figured this thread would serve as informative for someone who was looking to learn more about the tune.

With that being said it was not my intention to create another off topic thread. I do not work for Noelle Motors and I apologize if it seemed like I was trying to sell others on buying it. I know there were a lot of comments on a tune with no data and no dyno and was glad to see that they actually provided something. Isn’t that what these forums are about to share information with each other?

Hockeytyme I feel like you personally attacked me with your post. You think I should be banned? I get you’re tired of Noelle posts but I think you and I can both agree that there really isn’t much if any information on the Noelle Tune at this point. Even if you disagree with the route that I am looking to take wouldn’t you encourage it so we can get some real data from an end user. As for as my new account. I used to own a E90 335 over 10 years ago. I haven’t been on these forums in years because I switched to Audi for the past decade and have bounced from a B8 S4, 2 B7 RS4’s (one with APR Stage 3 Supercharger), Heavily modified MK4 Supra, Stage 3 TT RS, Audi RS3, AMS Twin Turbo R8. It was the F90 that brought me back to BMW. It is a damn impressive car. If you search my username on Audizine or R8talk you will find me. I cant even say that I have a ton of posts on those forums either as I am the type who likes to learn from the forums and don’t post a lot unless it is something I think the community can learn from. I apologize if I offended you. Yes I did say the dyno was impressive. I did not make any claims to my butt dyno or that it will be the fastest F90 on the forums. But I am interested in at least giving it a shot. I have no idea what the numbers will be but I am just as curious as you to find out. I have followed what you have done with your car on the forums. Testing different tuning platforms and putting out some impressive numbers. You are definitely providing valuable insight to our community on how to gain performance on these incredible machines. I hope to be able to do the same regardless if the times are slower than what the other tunes have been able to achieve.


limeypride Again, sorry for offending you by posting the dynos. Your numbers are impressive at 720/740 at the wheels. I know you think I am naive stupid, or “a troll”. You said I have no community ranking. Does that mean I should not post? I did do my research in shopping for a tune. I have spoken to Mo at DME, BM3tuning as well as Inram at Evolve. There is no way around passing Readiness with catless downpipes here in Massachusetts. Mass has become sticklers with emissions inspections and as much as I would like to run catless downpipes I really don’t want to deal with swapping back to stock every year just to pass inspection. I also only run pump gas as we have e85 in Mass but it not everywhere. I have seen the world of blending e85 and 93 and getting ethanol contents just right from my days with AudI 5 cylinders. With a luxury car like this I just want to be able to put gas in it and go. If Noelle is offering a bump in performance and no need to run catless then I am going to give it a shot.

If we could keep this thread on topic that would be awesome. If anyone wants to have further discussion send me a PM and I will gladly send over my number and we can talk.

[limeypride]

Originally Posted by mr_dennis_s

Oh man!! When I saw...

TL;DR... ^ this is as much as I read.

• If you do work for Noelle--go away.
  
• If you don't, you're devastatingly naive.

Data should influence decisions like this, not marketing BS which you seem to have swallowed hook, line and sinker.

[josec70]

Originally Posted by Hockeytyme

What do you think boys limeypride shoei ??

Another perfect storm, wind blows in the right direction and another person with a new account with very few posts and zero rep is suddenly in love with Noelle? LMAO.......

The last 3 guys all said the same shit. How much they love and believe in Noelle, bought the tune because they are believers, how their butt dyno tells them it runs a 3.2 blah blah blah

All 3 of them were talked into buying Dragy's and said they would post results and dyno the cars. Only one actually posted anything and that was a bunch of errors and that he had to take his car back to BMW. The others refused to post any of their results claiming we don't deserve it, i'm too busy, I don't know how to post pictures, and so on.

You my friend are about to get flamed once again. Someone ban his IP please. He's not the brightest and I would imagine doesn't know how to use a proxy to get back in.

Headed to the grocery store.
After toilet paper I'm going right to the popcorn isle.

You failed to cite the Dragy delivered to the wrong house (brother if I recall correctly).

[Hockeytyme]

Originally Posted by mr_dennis_s

Hockeytyme I feel like you personally attacked me with your post. You think I should be banned? I get you’re tired of Noelle posts but I think you and I can both agree that there really isn’t much if any information on the Noelle Tune at this point. Even if you disagree with the route that I am looking to take wouldn’t you encourage it so we can get some real data from an end user. As for as my new account. I used to own a E90 335 over 10 years ago. I haven’t been on these forums in years because I switched to Audi for the past decade and have bounced from a B8 S4, 2 B7 RS4’s (one with APR Stage 3 Supercharger), Heavily modified MK4 Supra, Stage 3 TT RS, Audi RS3, AMS Twin Turbo R8. It was the F90 that brought me back to BMW. It is a damn impressive car. If you search my username on Audizine or R8talk you will find me. I cant even say that I have a ton of posts on those forums either as I am the type who likes to learn from the forums and don’t post a lot unless it is something I think the community can learn from. I apologize if I offended you. Yes I did say the dyno was impressive. I did not make any claims to my butt dyno or that it will be the fastest F90 on the forums. But I am interested in at least giving it a shot. I have no idea what the numbers will be but I am just as curious as you to find out. I have followed what you have done with your car on the forums. Testing different tuning platforms and putting out some impressive numbers. You are definitely providing valuable insight to our community on how to gain performance on these incredible machines. I hope to be able to do the same regardless if the times are slower than what the other tunes have been able to achieve.


limeypride Again, sorry for offending you by posting the dynos. Your numbers are impressive at 720/740 at the wheels. I know you think I am naive stupid, or “a troll”. You said I have no community ranking. Does that mean I should not post? I did do my research in shopping for a tune. I have spoken to Mo at DME, BM3tuning as well as Inram at Evolve. There is no way around passing Readiness with catless downpipes here in Massachusetts. Mass has become sticklers with emissions inspections and as much as I would like to run catless downpipes I really don’t want to deal with swapping back to stock every year just to pass inspection. I also only run pump gas as we have e85 in Mass but it not everywhere. I have seen the world of blending e85 and 93 and getting ethanol contents just right from my days with AudI 5 cylinders. With a luxury car like this I just want to be able to put gas in it and go. If Noelle is offering a bump in performance and no need to run catless then I am going to give it a shot.

If we could keep this thread on topic that would be awesome. If anyone wants to have further discussion send me a PM and I will gladly send over my number and we can talk.

I'm sorry if you felt that I was personally attacking you. My assumption is that you either work for Noelle or are one of the same people that posted before on another account after a hiatus. It sounds as though you did indeed read all of the other Noelle threads and yet you seem to be surprised as to why would take offense to anyone bringing up the same lame as claims with zero proof as usual.

In that chance that you are just a normal guy who thinks you want to prove everyone wrong and give this tune a shot, I warn you. There is a reason why nobody has posted Noelle's numbers, not Dyno or Dragy. There is a reason why even after getting a Dragy they refuse to post results. The reason is simple, the results stink. If you post actually real world results and real world proof and can show me you got the tune then I'll personally make sure you get a DME or Evolve tune at a discounted price because I know you'll be unhappy and just lost a few thousand bucks.

I guess we find it hard to believe when there is so many tunes and two piggys with great results posted all over the internet and Dragy results. And yet there is a company (Noelle) that claims more horsepower and torque than all of those companies (ON a STOCK motor with no boltons) and claims faster 0-60 times (2.2) than any modded, built M5 in the world.

It's not that hard to post results, I have done it without a track on JB4, DME, and Evolve in just a few short months. They have no results because it doesn't provide what it claims.

Originally Posted by josec70

You failed to cite the Dragy delivered to the wrong house (brother if I recall correctly).

haha that and the other 50 excuses

[gmd2003]

Originally Posted by Vic55

oh no not another one!!

Edit: dont drink the Microsoft Paint Kool Aid

Hockeytyme
shoei

This on a MAHA dyno same dyno same day , way more accurate than the crap overinflated dynojets we usually see and most judge things by. This is way more useful data judging what the tune does than most venders post ......

[limeypride]

Originally Posted by gmd2003

This on a MAHA dyno same dyno same day , way more accurate than the crap overinflated dynojets we usually see and most judge things by. This is way more useful data judging what the tune does than most venders post ......

I've tried most kinds but my personal preference is a Mustang dyno. They read consistently lower than just about any other I've used so when pleasing figures are returned, it's all the more credible.

And 'credibility' is precisely the problem with Noelle--they don't have any.

At the end of the day, the dyno can read whatever the heck it wants--the performance gains are the real measure. I can find performance gains cited and validated for every credible tune vendor out there--ya see, it's circular--they became credible because of the performance data. And Noelle? Nuffin'

[mr_dennis_s]

Originally Posted by Hockeytyme

I'm sorry if you felt that I was personally attacking you. My assumption is that you either work for Noelle or are one of the same people that posted before on another account after a hiatus. It sounds as though you did indeed read all of the other Noelle threads and yet you seem to be surprised as to why would take offense to anyone bringing up the same lame as claims with zero proof as usual.

In that chance that you are just a normal guy who thinks you want to prove everyone wrong and give this tune a shot, I warn you. There is a reason why nobody has posted Noelle's numbers, not Dyno or Dragy. There is a reason why even after getting a Dragy they refuse to post results. The reason is simple, the results stink. If you post actually real world results and real world proof and can show me you got the tune then I'll personally make sure you get a DME or Evolve tune at a discounted price because I know you'll be unhappy and just lost a few thousand bucks.

I guess we find it hard to believe when there is so many tunes and two piggys with great results posted all over the internet and Dragy results. And yet there is a company (Noelle) that claims more horsepower and torque than all of those companies (ON a STOCK motor with no boltons) and claims faster 0-60 times (2.2) than any modded, built M5 in the world.

It's not that hard to post results, I have done it without a track on JB4, DME, and Evolve in just a few short months. They have no results because it doesn't provide what it claims.



haha that and the other 50 excuses

I sent you a DM on instagram but figured I respond here as well. You are right. No one has posted any dragy times here. Maybe they were upset with the results or embarrassed but we really haven't seen a valid dragy from someone with this tune. The one guy who posted times was having issues with his transmission. I have sent him a few PM's asking to get a ride in his car but I am not sure if he has resolved his issue. I feel like this is why someone else (someone else being me) has to take one for the team to either confirm these claims or show that this tune can't break a 7 sec 60-130 with just software.

Like I said I have done a lot of reading on the forums studying all the different tunes. Your post on the Evolve Stage 2 tune was really eye opening. If I didn't have such an issue with passing emissions here in Mass I would probably have gone that route with some MSR intakes and downpipes.

There is a part of me that agrees with you. How in the world are they making this much power with just a TUNE no hardware on stock motor? We have four great tuners out there who have gotten incredible results but most of them require downpipes in order to make the power Noelle is claiming. There is the other part of me that is saying what if the performance numbers are legit and it can crack off mid 6 sec 60-130 numbers on pump. I will be amped and be satisfied for that level of power for at least a little while.

The great thing about modding is we try different options to see what yields the best results. You guys have definitely made me second guess this decision but now I feel like this forum really needs these numbers for better or worse. I already own a dragy and don't have to go buy one or wait for it to be delivered. I had to move my appointment out a week but won't respond to this thread until I have actual dragy times to post.

I hope I can still take you up on getting me that discount if the performance numbers are junk and I end up needing to go the Evolve route.