[Lady Jane]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I was trying to be chivalrous... :

Stay Chivalrous, my friend.


Attachment 2527125

[M5Rick]

Well..yes though you make up your own mind if it's the right one to do that.

[joooiiiiii]

Used to, but I figured since they have arms and legs they'll be okay opening it themselves. I've only done it when they are carrying a bunch of stuff so I help them out. I've seen my friend go off on her bf for not opening the door for her--safe to say it was one of many red flags.

[PopsnBurbles]

I don't typically do it UNLESS:

1) They clearly need help: injured, occupied hands, or something else.
2) They've got long nails and/or lots of wrist accessories and/or rings
3) They've got a short short dress on. Just trying to avoid the world to see things they shouldn't be seeing.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by natedog7700

This isn't very wise in my opinion. For one, like someone said you're forcing them to play your games. But more importantly, this poses a possible escalation because you're not satisfied with the response you get from holding a door. You went from 0 to 100 really quick my friend, and good luck with expecting a certain outcome from every single person you hold the door for. You're simply creating more stress and drama for the sake of what exactly? I personally, would thank the person holding the door but at the same time i didn't ask that person to hold the door for me did I? What if i find it offensive, what if i want to go at my own pace instead of "hurrying" up my walk to save you time, what if im so consumed in something else i forget to say thank you once? Now i have some D bag trying to "teach me a lesson" and tell me how to live my life when all i wanted to do was get in and out and on my merry way. These thoughts should be considered.

How exactly do you forget to say thank you? Don't they teach please and thank you long before kindergarten?

I'm not forcing anyone to play games. How am I escalating a situation? If you weren't expecting it and didn't ask me to hold it open for you, or if it offends you, why should you get pissed if I didn't hold the door a second time?

What pisses me off is the lack of manners and common courtesy. I am polite and courteous to everyone I encounter every single day. The vast majority of people are appreciative. There are always the few.

EDIT: And for the record, I hold doors for everyone - male, female, old, young. And I am a female. Most times those not saying thank you, are also female.

[unluky]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

How exactly do you forget to say thank you? Don't they teach please and thank you long before kindergarten?

I'm not forcing anyone to play games. How am I escalating a situation? If you weren't expecting it and didn't ask me to hold it open for you, or if it offends you, why should you get pissed if I didn't hold the door a second time?

What pisses me off is the lack of manners and common courtesy. I am polite and courteous to everyone I encounter every single day. The vast majority of people are appreciative. There are always the few.

EDIT: And for the record, I hold doors for everyone - male, female, old, young. And I am a female. Most times those not saying thank you, are also female.

Agreed. I try and live to MY standard - not anyone elses. If I choose to hold the door for people because I believe it is polite, then I know some will be aholes and not be polite back. Someone not acknowledging it can irk me a little, but again they didn't ask for it. What really gets me is when I hold it for a female (I am male) and they give you that look like you just asked them for their phone number. THAT irritates me. Look guttersnipe - no one wants what you got, so cool off. I held it for the 600 pound guy behind you too.

I always say thank you and if it is someone under 25 or a child - I go extra out of my way to say thank you to reinforce a behavior that I think is dying.

Thank you for keeping it alive as well - common courtesy is definitely on the decline.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

How exactly do you forget to say thank you? Don't they teach please and thank you long before kindergarten?

I'm not forcing anyone to play games. How am I escalating a situation? If you weren't expecting it and didn't ask me to hold it open for you, or if it offends you, why should you get pissed if I didn't hold the door a second time?

What pisses me off is the lack of manners and common courtesy. I am polite and courteous to everyone I encounter every single day. The vast majority of people are appreciative. There are always the few.

EDIT: And for the record, I hold doors for everyone - male, female, old, young. And I am a female. Most times those not saying thank you, are also female.

It's because by holding the door for them, you are clearly demonstrating you are superior. How dare you.

[No one]

Originally Posted by unluky

What really gets me is when I hold it for a female (I am male) and they give you that look like you just asked them for their phone number. THAT irritates me. Look guttersnipe - no one wants what you got, so cool off. I held it for the 600 pound guy behind you too.

They give you that look because you don't. Finding them no more attractive than a 600 pound guy should hurt their feelings. But yes, it's annoying when you just look at them briefly to evaluate their appearance and they react as if you looked under their skirt (and did not proceed ). You can get infected with low self esteem (they know there'll be no second chance to turn you down so they hurry) from those even though it looks like too much self esteem at first glance.

[UncleWede]

Today was an excellent example of a woman not once, but twice opening the door for me. As I approach the card access, the dispatcher presses the button to let me in. It takes about 7 seconds to walk from the front door to the door into the dispatch center. I stick my head in and say Thank You.
Then I go out the back door, across the parking lot, and she proceeds to open the exterior gate for me. I look into the camera and sign her Thank You again.


On opening car doors, ESPECIALLY if it's my car, and the wind is blowing . . .

[natedog7700]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

How exactly do you forget to say thank you? Don't they teach please and thank you long before kindergarten?

I'm not forcing anyone to play games. How am I escalating a situation? If you weren't expecting it and didn't ask me to hold it open for you, or if it offends you, why should you get pissed if I didn't hold the door a second time?

What pisses me off is the lack of manners and common courtesy. I am polite and courteous to everyone I encounter every single day. The vast majority of people are appreciative. There are always the few.

EDIT: And for the record, I hold doors for everyone - male, female, old, young. And I am a female. Most times those not saying thank you, are also female.

How do you forget to say thank you? Well i dont know, there are how many billions of people in this world and you think its impossible to forget to say thank you? Thats very narrow minded, just saying.

Yes you are, you expect a certain outcome and if they dont oblige, its their fault and shame on them, they will feel your wrath. THIS can escalate the situation.. if you think im wrong so be it, but if you find yourself on the wrong side of town, cant say i didn't tell you so.

To be honest, i dont see why 4 people appreciated your post, but maybe its because you're a woman on a male dominant forum? I dont know, just an observation.

For the record, i hold doors as well, but you're kind of coming off as a Karen to me TBH. No offense.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by natedog7700

How do you forget to say thank you? Well i dont know, there are how many billions of people in this world and you think its impossible to forget to say thank you? Thats very narrow minded, just saying.

Yes you are, you expect a certain outcome and if they dont oblige, its their fault and shame on them, they will feel your wrath. THIS can escalate the situation.. if you think im wrong so be it, but if you find yourself on the wrong side of town, cant say i didn't tell you so.

To be honest, i dont see why 4 people appreciated your post, but maybe its because you're a woman on a male dominant forum? I dont know, just an observation.

For the record, i hold doors as well, but you're kind of coming off as a Karen to me TBH. No offense.

Maybe it’s a generational thing. I was taught manners. There is no forgetting. Yes, please. No, thank you. It’s automatic. I’m probably old enough to be your mother. And the majority of the no manners crew are young enough I could be their mother. The same people that don’t know how to deal with people in person. Don’t know how to talk to to people if it’s not a text.

I treat everyone with respect but expect it in return.

For what it’s worth, I was posting on this forum for over 4 years before anyone knew I was woman. I don’t flaunt it, I thought it was relative.

You think I’m a Karen, knock yourself out. I do find the wrong side of town comment very telling. Stereotype much? Have a good day.

[No one]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

the majority of the no manners crew are young enough I could be their mother

To be their mother you should've raised them the way you like. On the other hand, they don't necessarily treat their mothers any better than they treat you.

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

I treat everyone with respect but expect it in return.

If you don't expect anything but they do the way you please you should like it still (or even more?). But if you do expect something and it doesn't happen you should be disappointed. So what's the value of expectations?

The idea of someone's expectations being important to anybody else reminds me of some book character. He keyed other people's cars and subsequently helped those people by fixing that damage free of charge. He just wanted to be helpful.

It's all right to dislike anybody for whatever you like. But being demanding only makes sense towards oneself, perhaps.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by No one

The idea of someone's expectations being important to anybody else reminds me of some book character. He keyed other people's cars and subsequently helped those people by fixing that damage free of charge. He just wanted to be helpful.

That's what we call a person with a severe mental illness.

[3.0L]

I've opening doors for my honey for 57 years, except for the time I was away in the US Army (2 years & 8 months).

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by natedog7700

To be honest, i dont see why 4 people appreciated your post, but maybe its because you're a woman on a male dominant forum? I dont know, just an observation.

.

It’s now five, but you passively asked so let me actively respond. Because we liked it. I’ll let that sit for a bit.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by 3.0L

I've opening doors for my honey for 57 years, except for the time I was away in the US Army (2 years & 8 months).

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by natedog7700

To be honest, i dont see why 4 people appreciated your post, but maybe its because you're a woman on a male dominant forum? I dont know, just an observation.

Originally Posted by fiveohwblow

It’s now five, but you passively asked so let me actively respond. Because we liked it. I’ll let that sit for a bit.

[erickonphoenix]

I always do but really for two purposes.

1. I do a 360 visual check on my vehicle so I know condition and possible hazards present before I drive off, so her door is "on the way round" anyways.

2. I like to check to make sure her dress or handbag strap isn't caught in the door.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by sersivid

If there's not much room between your car and the car parked next to you, let her open her own door. Don't force the gesture if it's just not possible to perform. Don't feel obligated to open the car door for her when exiting the vehicle. Most people get out of a car as soon as it parks.

But are you a man or a whoa-man

[Frank851]

This is not a car door opening post, but I was entering a deli today where you have to pull a number inside to be waited on in the order that you entered. I was ahead of two women on the sidewalk, with all of us planning on entering the deli. I held the door open for both of the women and I could see their disbelief that not only did I open and hold the door for them, but obviously let them jump ahead of me in the queue once inside. A simple act of kindness can make a difference.

[evil-G-nius]

I damn near always open the car door for my wife...even when we were dating I did it. I open the door for ladies at the store or mall or whatever as well. I was raised by a southern gentleman (I'd never let my dad hear me call him a gentleman LOL) and it was how he was raised and so on. It is instilled in me and all in all its just a polite thing to do. It doesn't take any extar energy or time to do something small & nice for someone.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by evil-G-nius

I damn near always open the car door for my wife...even when we were dating I did it. I open the door for ladies at the store or mall or whatever as well. I was raised by a southern gentleman (I'd never let my dad hear me call him a gentleman LOL) and it was how he was raised and so on. It is instilled in me and all in all its just a polite thing to do. It doesn't take any extar energy or time to do something small & nice for someone.

^This!!!
I always hold the elevator doors also