It was a custody hearing. The child was a teenager and able to express his own opnion.
He didn''t want to live with his mother as she was prone to thrashing him.
What about the father then ? Sorry, he beat me too.
Any other relatives ? Only an aunt and she beat him harder than his parents.
The judge committed the lad to the care of the England football team, as he was satisfied they would never beat anyone
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