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Geez... I understand you're frustrated but crying over 700 bucks when you make 200k+ a year? I hope you don't sweat bullets and sweat like you do when uncle sam sticks his hand in your pocket at the end of the year and squeezes (which I bet is more than 700) and that's a WASTE of money.
If I were you, I'd take the tires off... and sell them privately. You'd get back a few hundred for them! Consider the $400 you might lose a gambling loss.
OR you could just visit costco again, put 4 nails in the tires, road hazard them, then tell them you want new ones but this time different models.
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